Thinking about and finding an old friend is a sign to do it, plain and simple. However, anyone can search for people online.You must make sure you do it right.We tend to feel guilty about losing touch with someone we were very close to even though there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. Here are the five steps to take to find an old friend and make amends.
1. Take the Traditional Route
You can begin with a letter with the return address, a yearbook, a notebook, or an old email. You need something with the individual’s personal details. Since online data can be very misleading, a physical address is a better bet. They probably don’t live there anymore, but the new occupant might have some information about them. Include a phone number or email in the letter for the recipient to contact you.
On the off chance that your friend hasn’t moved and gets your letter, they will appreciate the time and effort you put in. Snail mail and greeting cards imply thoughtfulness and are far more meaningful than text messages.
2. Try Social Media
Tell your story to your friends on social media for finding an old friend. Write any details you can remember – where they worked, studied, lived, etc. Look for any relatives and ask your friends to share your posts. This is a good way to get additional information.
3. Spend Some Time Googling
If you find any names and addressesof relatives, you can google them for more information. Call any numbers you get. Eventually, someone will pick up and tell you something, even if it’s just that you have the wrong number. A better option is someone who will know them or even be related to them picking up. They will be able to tell you where they are and how they’re doing.
Something as trivial as including an occupation, a hometown, or a middle initial can save you days of searching Google. Yourfirst try might uncover important information. Still, there is a chance Google won’t get you anywhere. The next step…
4. Run a Background Check
Thanks to cutting edge technology, background check services have become amazing at discovering personal information. These sites will reveal addresses, phone numbers, and much more. Again, try all the numbers and email addresses you get.
Some of the numbers might be assigned to unrelated people or disconnected. Don’t give up. Open whitepages.com to find even more addresses and numbers.
5. Be Open
With so much effort, you’re sure to locate the person you miss. When you do, know that despite the inevitable awkwardness, they deserveyour honesty and openness. Be direct if your relationship was strong. Address the situation as it is and tell them you were thinking about them and wondering how they were doing. This will communicate to them that you have every interest to reconnect rather than start over.
Both people are to blamefor losing touch in most cases. They may not have reached out to you, but you didn’t contact them either.
Ask if they want to gettogether and if or when you do, ask open-ended questions to avoid further awkwardness. This will make them happy because they can talk about what they’ve been doing. It will also relieve you of pressure. Don’t avoid the situation, but don’t blame them for losing touch either. Your life may have gotten ahead of you, but moving on with them in it will be easier.
Make Them Feel Comfortable
Their comfort should be a priority for you. Not exaggerating what happened to your relationship is a big part of that. If you don’t have much time, keep things simple. You can send them a brief message just to let them know you’re thinking of them. They will be happy that you reached out.