Becoming a parent is a wonderful feeling. That is why some single men, women, or couples choose to approach a surrogate to assist them in achieving their dreams of becoming parents. Intended parents seek the help of surrogates after their efforts to produce children bear no fruits.
Surrogates take up the opportunity to help others have children they can call their own. Most of these women believe that everyone deserves to enjoy the gift of children no matter what.
Surrogacy is not yet popular in many parts of the world. However, for the nations that have embraced it, it is an important medical service for all the individuals, not able to produce children. If delicate issues associated with surrogacy are addressed through the help of well-framed laws, then many people will be happy to approach surrogates and surrogate agencies.
How to Choose a Surrogate
Any person, who has received the blessing of a child through the help of a surrogate, can tell you that selecting the surrogate is the most crucial part of the process. The wrong decision can cause adverse effects. The selection is based on a number of qualities and factors.
Here is a compilation of 7 of the most important traits to focus on when selecting a surrogate.
Immediately you decide to embark on the surrogacy journey, this should be your number one focus of attention. Carrying a baby to term comes with its fair share of stress on women’s bodies. It is thus important that you choose a surrogate who will start the journey on a healthy and fit note.
Starting out healthy and fit makes a big difference throughout the entire journey. Not only for the surrogate mother but for you too. Look for a woman who is free of any chronic diseases, and whose mental health is intact.
You need to ensure that the surrogate mother is neither a smoker nor someone who uses drugs. She should not engage in any drinking practices during the entire journey. Remember that this is your baby, in her body.
Looking for a healthy and fit, surrogate mother, who can stay away from alcohol, reduces the chances of pregnancy complications. Surrogates need to be tested for infectious diseases such as syphilis, hepatitis B, HIV among others. A surrogate mother also needs to be immune to measles, chickenpox, and rubella, also known as German measles.
You can also ask her to undergo a medical procedure to determine her potential to carry a pregnancy until the end of the term. Additionally, you should ensure that a surrogate mother has her own doctor rather than using yours during her pregnancy.
Surrogate mothers go through a lot during the pregnancy journey. Just like any other pregnancy, the mother will need to visit the doctor a countless number of times. The doctor will keep track of the changes happening in her body.
A surrogate will not only have to withstand complications from the egg implantation. She will also need to withstand the legal and additional paperwork aspects of the process. This tiresome process requires patience. Therefore, you need to look for a surrogate mother who can exercise this rare virtue.
Settling for an inpatient individual can put you at the risk of losing your chance to achieve your dream of becoming a parent. If a surrogate mother becomes too impatient of waiting around for the entire legal and paperwork process to pass, she can walk out of the arrangement. That would leave you with the stress of having to start from scratch.
To avoid this, evaluate a surrogate’s level of patience before you begin the process.
When you decide to look for a surrogate, you bind yourself into a partnership. The moment you sign the surrogacy agreement you agree to work with the surrogate will the end. As an intending parent, you count on the surrogate mother to take all vitamins, medications, and hormones during the entire process without fail.
You are going to entrust your child to a surrogate mother at its most vulnerable stage. At that stage, integrity and honesty are of utmost importance.
You, therefore, need to know your surrogate mother. It might be difficult to tell for sure a person’s level of honestly just by talking to them, but always listen to your guts. Your first conversation with a surrogate mother is your first date.
Take it upon yourself to learn about her personality. Remain keen on how honest she is in your conversation. If you are working with a surrogacy agency, a specialist will most likely set up the date, and mediate the conversation.
Such specialists are in a better position of helping you pick the right questions to ask the surrogate mother in order to gauge her level of honesty.
Surrogacy involves complex legal procedures. You need to be confident that the surrogate mother you select understands the legal aspects of the arrangement, and all the responsibilities she is agreeing to take up, by accepting to carry your child.
She needs to know the importance of all the tests and attending all pre-natal clinics. If your surrogate mother does not understand why you need her to undergo an HIV test, for instance, you might not be able to convince her to take the test.
An intelligent surrogate mother will be willing to follow all the doctor’s recommendations without too much resistance because she understands the importance of all that.
A surrogate mother will not be in a position to maintain a close personal life from the moment you decide to have her carry your child. Therefore, select a woman who is not shy to let experts vet her, and one who is ready to allow you to place her personal life under a microscope. You will need to check many things about the surrogate mother, which includes her health, and her financial records.
After checking these out, you will then invade her private life for a whole year. A shy woman who cannot let strangers invade her personal life might not be the best candidate for you to select. You will be shadowing the surrogate mother, and you work with a surrogacy agency, they too will be up in her business, and if she is not willing to live an open life, she cannot take that kind of pressure.
You need a surrogate mother who will always keep in touch with you throughout the pregnancy journey. The mother needs to keep updating you on all the developments along the way, including any medical changes that may pop up in the course of the pregnancy term.
Before you embark on the journey, ensure that you and the surrogate agree on this. She needs to assure you that she will not lose touch, and will always keep you updated. The surrogate mother is carrying your child, and you most definitely want to be a part of the journey, despite the fact that the child is in the surrogate’s body.
Apart from communicating with you, the surrogate mother needs to communicate regularly with the doctor and the surrogacy agency, if one was involved in the first place.
When choosing a surrogate mother, you want to select a mother who will take the responsibility very seriously. A perfect candidate should be able to take proper care of herself throughout the pregnancy journey and follow through all instructions from the doctor.
You do not want your surrogate to take on unnecessary risks, which might affect the baby and herself. Whenever she gets any concerns, a responsible surrogate mother is one who calls the doctor and asks for advice, instead of providing herself with risky solutions.
Apart from these seven qualities, there are other things to consider before selecting a surrogate mother. Consult experts on things to consider when selecting a surrogate can provide you with more insight into the information you seek. They likely focus on providing the best value services at reasonable prices.
Their intention is to help many intended parents achieve the gift of parenthood. If you are ready to take on the surrogacy journey, learn about the process.
Consider These Important Tips When Choosing a Surrogate
Everybody who wants deserves to be a parent, so if you have not been successful so far, you should consider letting a surrogate help you. So don’t give up yet.
Surrogate mothers are a blessing to the society because they give intended parents a chance to achieve their dreams. So why hold back when you can have a surrogate mother carry your child and give you the chance to call the child your own?
Keep in mind these 7 important qualities that you should look out for in a surrogate. If you do, you will most likely choose the best person to carry your child.
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