Ghosting may not be an entirely new phenomenon – people have been ignoring others since time immemorial – but ghosting has certainly taken on a new intensity with the advent of modern dating apps and technologies.
In this article we’re going to discuss why someone might be ghosting someone else and how you can best protect yourself from being hurt.
What Is Ghosting?
Ghosting is basically a form of rejection that’s not finalized – meaning that the person doing the ghosting can ‘go back on it’ if they so choose to. People who are ghosting you are basically people who don’t have the confidence or maturity to properly end a relationship, or who would prefer not to ‘deal with you’ until the time comes around when they feel that they could use you for something.
Terrible, right? Definitely not the type of person that you should keep in your life.
There are some signs that could indicate that you’re being ghosted or that you’re dealing with someone who might be the classic ‘ghosting’ type person.
- The ‘too busy’ excuse. If your date keeps telling you that they’re too busy without bothering to explain why or without taking time to shift around their supposed business to see you, they’re probably not that interested.
- Obvious distance. If a person doesn’t seem to emotionally engage with you or if they’re always checking their phone while you’re on a date, it doesn’t sound like they’re that interested in building a connection.
What Can I Do if I’ve Been Ghosted?
It can be pretty difficult to accept that you’ve been ghosted – especially if you’ve shared an intimate connection with someone and you really seemed to hit it off with them. If they suddenly fall out of contact with you, more likely, you’re going to be worried about whether or not they’re safe!
Regardless, you may have to come to accept this lack-of-closure as the only closure that you’re going to get from this individual. There are a few things to keep in mind:
- If you were ghosted, this indicates that the person who ghosted you is immature. This shouldn’t affect your self-esteem. Chances are, they want someone as immature and emotionally unavailable as they are – and that’s not you!
- Avoid talking to them. If your messages aren’t answered for a few days, there’s no sense in repeatedly trying to get an answer. This will aggravate the ghoster and make them more likely to ignore you. Especially avoid long, heartfelt messages – these will just take more out of you.
If you have been ghosted, it’s a shame, but don’t let it get you down. There are plenty of people out there ready to be mature and open in their communication.